…but I’m dying to fall in love, and if you let me, I’ll fall in love with you, and cherish you, and listen to your dreams and your hurts, and I’ll be faithful and funny, and I’ll never forget your birthday or make out with your girlfriend and blame it on too many shots, or come home from guys’ night out drunk and smelling of strippers. That’s what I want to tell her, but instead I say, “Can I have an envelope for that?” and if you want to know where all the good guys are, we’re standing right in front of you, lacking the balls to actually make ourselves heard
This is happening!! I’m not even afraid to say it’s going to be AMAZING!! :)
Here it is…
Our introductory message of hope and peace for the future of the human race!
This is the coolest!!! :)
Fellow humans of the universe! The wife and I have been working on a little project for the last few months we hope to bring to the interspace very soon. It is called: Book Narcs. It involves books and us and us talking about books and things with people and such. I know, SOUNDS LIKE AN ADVENTURE!
We are both avid readers and wanted to do something creative together, so we figured we’d start a podcast that no one would possibly want to listen to and interview our friends that nobody knows and talk about books that no one will read.
Are you still with us?
Good. The main site is here: http://www.booknarcs.com
And you can find links to our other sites within. There isn’t much up now, but we have shot a small introductory video that should be posted by Friday.
So if this interests you, befriend us, like us, LOVE US, and tune in to listen to two people spout subjective nonsense all over your favorite and most hated books, authors, and genres.
We Didn’t Do It, But We Did It: Crap Kingdom and the New York Times
So, Crap Kingdom did not make it onto the New York Times Best Seller list this week.
I say “this week,” because: hey. Not to get all The Secret about stuff, but I earnestly believe that if I keep my head down and keep working and keep doing all the things I’m doing, someday it will be. It, or another book. My dream scenario is that my next book (or the book after it, or the book after it) is finally the effort-coalescing smash hit I have been waiting for and that propels my whole back catalog onto the list. I think this is the dream of every artist who feels under-appreciated. It is also (though the details may be different) the dream of anyone who has ever felt undervalued or looked down upon in any walk of life. “THIS ONE DANCE I DO AT THE TALENT SHOW WILL BE SO GREAT EVERYONE WILL SUDDENLY REALIZE I’M BEAUTIFUL AND THEY’LL THINK BACK ON EVERY TIME I TRIPPED IN THE HALLWAY AND REALIZE I WASN’T TRIPPING AT ALL, I WAS PERFORMING BEAUTIFUL MINI-DANCES!” And so on.
It is a cliché dream and I get that yet I am fully in its thrall.
That said, I’m sad. I do believe there’s a difference between “getting your hopes up” and “being excited by the possibility something.” I didn’t used to think that. I used to very willfully try to assume that nothing good would happen, thinking that if something good happened, it would be a neat surprise, but if nothing happened, or something bad happened, who cares? All that happened is what I expected to happen. Look how smart I am.
After a few cool things happened in my life and were greeted with very little fanfare by my insides, I realized something gamblers and businessmen know implicitly: in order to win anything, you have to wager something. If you want to be thrilled when something cool happens, you have to have hoped it was going to happen.
Basically: “Exciting” is a more marketable way of saying “full of potential heartbreak.”
So I was excited by the possibility that this could happen, and I worked really really hard to try and get it to happen. I try very hard not to be like a high school yearbook staff, where I say “we worked really hard on this” like it somehow inures me from criticism when I’ve misspelled someone’s name. I believe hard work should be a given. Hard work does not mean you deserve something. I scream this at the TV most weeks during “Shark Tank.” I have worked hard and I will continue to work hard and when it’s finally been enough work for it to happen, it will happen.
Interesting thing about getting bad news (and an interesting thing about getting good news): it happens. And then you are still alive. After the moment you get the bad news, there is a next moment. And a next moment and a next moment and a next moment.
And then you go get something to eat.
So the bad news is it’s not on this week’s Best Sellers list. The good news is, it is out there, and people seem to like it, and once it’s out, it stays out, and people can get it, and people can find it. And I still sold quite a lot of books. And every time someone tweets a picture of their copy of the book at me, I think: “This rules.”
the humble DC Pierson has graciously put his storytelling show, “DC Pierson is Bad at Girls” on youtube. All of it. Free of charge.
You should give it a watch. And if you feel like giving back, why not go out and purchase DC’s newest novel, “Crap Kingdom”. It’s sure to be a fun read, and it’s available wherever books are sold.
I’ve posted the latest CRAP KINGDOM CUSTOM RAP for the 51st thru 100th people to pre-order CRAP KINGDOM.
If you pre-order my new book I will rap about you as I have done for these fifty people. Only for a limited time, so act NOW.
Pre-order the book at Amazon (http://amzn.to/OnJO53 Kindle: http://amzn.to/QPq5JU) or at Powell’s (http://bit.ly/OlWo2j) or any other online book retailer (eBook pre-orders also accepted,) forward the receipt to CRAPKINGDOM@GMAIL.COM and acheive immortality in a custom rap (or “crap”). I’ll e-mail you when your rap has gone up.